Chris Dorris’ Blog


The Infinity Cafe

We are so accustomed to being given lists of options for everything from what to order at a restaurant to what career to choose, that most of us have no idea what we really REALLY want in life. We’ve anesthetized our ability to THINK for ourselves about how we most profoundly want to use our miraculous lives.

Afford yourself the luxury of some real private time  – some unplugged and uninterrupted time – to reflect on how you would like to use the rest of this Miraculous Life of yours. Regardless of where you are in life, regardless of age, regardless of status, create the time to ask yourself “How now do I truly want my life to be?” And then make a move toward it. Do something you’ve never done before.



Coaching is TOTALLY Unnecessary!

It’s true. Hiring a Personal Coach is totally unnecessary. It’s an entirely non-essential service. And that’s precisely why I got into it, and out of Counseling (although Counseling is also non-essential). I shifted because I no longer wanted to focus on ameliorating problems, but rather wanted to spend time helping folks manifest miracles and create dreams.

But none of that needs to happen. So why pay good money to hire a Personal Coach? Because you can. It’s that simple. The same reason you’d do anything in this miraculous life – because you can, but not because you need to.

We get to play the game of creating miracles with this highly improbable life we’ve got.

So coaching isn’t about fixing problems. It’s not about correcting inadequacies. It’s not about changing things in order to become happy (because you don’t need anything to be different in order to feel infinite bliss in this very moment, and every other.) Coaching is about playing the wonderful game of growth. Diving further and further into mastery and making magic – for its own sake. Because that’s fun to do. And the game of discovering new and deeper levels of potential and power never ends. And that’s pretty damn cool.

So why would I hire a coach? To help me free myself from the conditioned beliefs that prevent me from exploding into that greatness, that magic, the miraculousness. To help me liberate myself from the conditioning of my past so that I can experience reality AS IT IS, in all its infinite splendor, and so that I can manifest all my wildest desires with less effort.

That’s why. But I sure don’t need to.

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 Be on the lookout for the new Creating Your Dream Audio Program. I just finished recording today. It’ll be a 5 cd set. You can find out more soon on my website:

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NOTHING “brings” you joy!



Dorris Does Gymnastics!

THE OUTER WORLD IS A REFLECTION OF THE INNER WORLD

Regardless of who you are or what you’re doing with your life, what’s going on around you is a product of what’s going IN you. More specifically, in your mind.

A few weeks ago I did an interview with Michael Allen (http://wp.me/psrwD-1C) in which we discuss the value of Mental Conditioning as it applies to success on the PGA Tour. Last week I recorded another video with my dear friend and mentor, Jim Myers, who has coached hundreds of CEOs on business, leadership and personal development. (That video was audibly challenged, so we’re doing it over – look for it next time.)

It might seem obvious to most people how Mental Toughness is essential to success in professional sports or big business. Every once in a while, if I’m in conversation with someone and happen to mention that I am coaching a youngster, they might say, “For what?! What could a 13-year-old possibly need Mental Toughness Training for?”

The simple answer: for LIFE!

THE OUTER WORLD IS A REFLECTION OF THE INNER WORLD

I often tell folks that I went through graduate school in Psychology and never once had a course – ever – that taught me the fundamentals of mastering my thoughts and emotions. I never had a class that taught me how to strengthen my inner world. It’s not in the curriculum. And yet it’s the most important variable in creating success on any and every possible level!

A strong inner world can effortlessly create confidence, competence, enthusiasm, focus, determination, perseverance, patience, peace and all the psychological states that lead to masterful decision-making, skillful action and phenomenal results.

Someone with all the traditional training, education or physical talent in the world, who doesn’t also have Emotional Intelligence as the foundation, will never sniff true success. They may figure out how to make boatloads of money, or how to accumulate lots of wins on the playing field, but they’ll never be able to enjoy that money or those wins, or what come of them. These folks wait for joy to come from some external source, like wealth, or a certain lifestyle, or a certain degree of recognition or fame, for example. And that cycle of waiting will NEVER end, because the programming of the untrained mind is that there’s never enough. And to make it even worse, they have to work 10 times harder to get there!

Someone with a strong inner world, on the other hand – a trained mind – knows how to create fulfillment, bliss, reward and complete happiness from nothing but the decision to do so, and then prioritizes that choice, makes that decision every day, creates those masterful psychological states, and genuinely and fully enjoys the best results with the least effort. And then people call that person “lucky”. Because they seem to get all the breaks, or life seems to “come easy to them”. And, in a way, they’re right. Success does come easy to the mentally tough. But only after the diligent and consistent hard work of training the mind.

THE OUTER WORLD IS A REFLECTION OF THE INNER WORLD

I applaud people like Debbie Farrelly, the owner of Arizona Dynamics Gymnastics (http://www.azdynamics.com/index.htm) and her staff of coaches. These are people who are committed to teaching young children the importance and value of a disciplined mind.

Our school systems need to follow that lead and integrate formalized Emotional Mastery courses and classes into the curricula. These Mental Mastery tools, when learned at an early age, will beautifully and profoundly alter the way a child’s life unfolds. Because it will profoundly alter the way that child views life – from the place of a creator.

Here’s a profound exercise that we can all benefit from: 

Start catching yourself complaining, and replace those complaints with expressions of gratitude. Literally turn the language around 180 degrees. Complaining is one of the weakest practices ever. It propagates the victim mentality. So start stopping. And switch into the high vibrational state of gratitude and appreciation.  From that state, we activate creativity. We strengthen the inner world.  Mastery ensues. And then the results. And it feels a hell of a lot better.



Because It’s Fun!

 BECAUSE IT’S FUN!

One of the most profound observations that I’ve made over the years in my work as a Coach, Mental Toughness Trainer, and even way back in the day as a Social Worker, is that humans are at their best when they feel their best.

Which means we all have tremendous incentive to become more masterful at creating the high vibe moods – feeling great.

The biggest mistake that I observe people making in the pursuit of excellence and their dreams is WAITING. We’ve been conditioned to wait for some set of circumstances to be different in order to feel the moods or emotional states that catapult us into creativity, greatness, success and the results we desire. We wait for a promotion or a stellar performance review before we feel competent. We wait for a victory before we feel athletic. We wait for the report card that shows a high GPA before we feel intelligent. And that’s a huge waste of time!

Ask the champions of the world, like Michael Allen, what the psychological key to their success is and they’ll tell you that it’s to reverse the equation. Instead of RESULTS –> FEELING GOOD, switch it around to FEELING GOOD –> RESULTS.

Often when people first hear this they say, “Yeah but doesn’t preparedness and talent have something to with success as well?” And the obvious answer is of course it does! But all that talent and preparedness goes right out the window when it isn’t supported by a disciplined mind – one that is willing to choose to start with the masterful moods.

I’ve come across some exceptionally skilled folks in my life that have never achieved or experienced greatness because they paralyze their talents with doubt, and by waiting for results – proof. And, I’ve met some remarkably successful folks who self-admittedly have very little raw talent who get much more out of the little skill that they have by prioritizing belief, and by not waiting for results to feel great.

So the bottom line here is simple: let yourself feel great first! NOW! Don’t wait. How? Like anything else that involves mastery – with practice. 

If you’d like a suggestion for a specific Mental Toughness Tool that’ll help you out with this, click here http://bit.ly/cyHT3m to check out a recent Miraculous Life email bulletin I wrote on how to put your Game Face on.

When I ask Michael Allen these days why he plays golf, his answer is, “Because it’s fun.” When I ask him why he wants to be the first ever human to win his first event on the Champions Tour and then win a PGA Tour event he says, “Because it’s fun.” When I ask him why he puts so much effort into his preparation and physical training, “Fun.”

Let the intelligence of light-heartedness do its magic for you. Because it’s fun!

p.s. The video ends abruptly because the camera was full and it shut itself off during the recording. But what was missed in the video was captured in the writing.

p.p.s. I really welcome your comments and suggestions for content for future posts, so don’t hesitate to submit any thoughts you might have.



Going Off: Getting in The Gap

THE GAP

Stop thinking. Stop reading this for a second and stop thinking.

It’s not easy, is it? And why would it be? After all, it’s your brain’s job to think. But with practice, it can be trained to be quiet.

And why would I ever want my brain to be quiet? A few reasons:

  • Increased ability to experience peace
  • Reduced anxiety
  • Increased confidence
  • Better health
  • More efficient access to memory, ideas, creativity
  • Increased physical coordination
  • Increased problem solving ability
  • Increased levels of patience
  • Increased levels of compassion
  • Increased ability to manifest more of what you want with less effort
  • Increased productivity
  • Increased levels of energy
  • Relaxation
  • Heightened awareness to thoughts and emotions
  • Less defensiveness
  • Less anger
  • Increased focus
  • Present Moment Alertness
  • Improved job performance
  • Improved athletic performance

Imagine that your brain has two settings, ON and OFF. We’re quite familiar with the ON. It’s how we spend the vast majority of our existence. And thank God for the ON, for if we didn’t have the ability to think, we’d be totally dysfunctional. But there’s a whole other realm to be explored. The OFF. Also referred to as the discontinuity, or The Gap, it’s  a magical state where we transcend thought and enter the world of infinite possibilities. The realm of pure potentiality.

In this state of stillness and spaciousness we remember that we are inextricably connected to all that is. We experience infinite peace. Fear is a product of thinking. Specifically, thinking about what could go wrong. In the absence of thought, there can be no fear. And in the absence of fear, there is only peace, compassion, love, and lightness of being.

Practicing creating stillness doesn’t actually result in stillness in all areas of the brain. In fact, it activates one part of the brain (the neocortex, or frontal lobe), but it quiets another part (the thalamus). The result is called coherence. And the benefits of coherence, as you see in the list above, are numerous. This practice of getting in the “OFF’, so to speak, results in mastery in all forms.

And the practice is so simple.

How do you get in the Gap?

Give yourself twenty minutes to do this practice. Sit quietly somewhere you will not be interrupted or distracted. You will do this practice silently in your mind with your eyes closed. 

1.  Begin the practice by taking a couple deep breaths and then ask yourself and  answer the following 3 questions:

  • Who am I?
  • What do I want?
  • What is my Life Purpose?

Reflecting upon these three questions will serve to remind you of who you are and want to be, what you desire for your life and for others’, and of your ultimate mission – that which is more important to you than anything else, something that you will be proud to say you honored consistently as you grow older. This life purpose will involve in some way, making a contribution to the world.

2.   Once you have reflected upon those questions and answered them, it’s time to begin the actual gap meditation.

Simply sit comfortably with your eyes closed and begin to quiet the mind. Become an observer of the mind. Observe the thoughts that arise and remember that you are not those thoughts.

3.   As you notice the thoughts that your mind is generating, simply and gently release them as if to release the pressure of holding onto a small helium filled balloon. And simply continue to repeat that practice for the duration of the meditation. It’s simply a practice of noticing and releasing the thoughts that our minds create. It’s a practice of conditioning the mind into a higher functioning state of coherence. Ultimately, you will experience gaps in thinking, spaces of thoughtlessness. That happens spontaneously as a result of the practice. Notice those gaps and over time experience what it is like to permit yourself to stay in those gaps longer and longer before exiting it by generating the next thought.

ENJOY!

You’ll notice many things as you practice the meditation, but one thing to pay particular attention to is the lightness that you feel when you release an unpleasant thought. You will invariably get caught up in some disturbing or anxiety provoking thought. Then you’ll remember that you don’t need it. You’ll release it. And the subsequent experience will be that you return to peace and lightness. This peace or lightness of being is your natural state. It never disappears. You are eternally enveloped within it. You can only render yourself incapable of experiencing it with negative thinking. As you practice The Gap, you’ll be strengthening your ability to make that same shift throughout your day. The shift from unnecessary suffering back to peace. And as a result, you’ll feel better, and activate mastery in all you do.



Tiger Woods’ Lesson for Us All

Since the whole Tiger drama initiated last month, I’ve been getting countless emails , text messages, and hearing jokes and criticisms about him and what’s gone on. With such world-wide fame comes enormous public scrutiny, and his decisions and behaviors have resulted in, among other things, a lot of finger-pointing. A lot of judgment.

I was amazed at how quickly people went to the effort of creating photoshopped images and posting  condescending YouTube videos about him and the drama he created. Tiger has given us an infinitely convenient opportunity to practice something here that it simply not useful – aligning through negativity. More specifically, his story has given us the opportunity to pretend that we , ourselves, are beyond transgression.

That’s not to say that each of has broken our marital or relationship agreements and had affairs. I have heard jokes and criticisms, however, offered by folks who have. The hypocisy seems ironic. But when I think about why any of us have the inclination to cast such judgments, regardless of whether or not we are guilty of the same charges, it seems that we’re just doing what we’ve been told. We have been conditioned to believe that there’s something inadequate about us, something not good enough, or that we should be better in many ways than we are, or that we’re just flat out bad. And what accompanies that conditioning is the unconscious desire to deny ourselves any acknowledgment of our own dark sides. And instead, to cast judgment outwardly.

RADICAL ACCEPTANCE

Why is it so much easier to point the finger at someone like Tiger and cast judgment than it is to turn my attention inward and ask myself questions like, “How am I breaking my word in my own life?” Or, “How am I out of integrity right now?” Or, “How am I breaking agreements or commitments with people these days?” It’s because I’ve been taught over the course of my lifetime to be ashamed of myself for my bad decisions and behaviors. I’ve been taught that there is something inadequate about me and my truth. So now I have the incentive to deny it. And instead to cast judgment outward. When I do this, I’m missing out on an opportunity for potentially tremendous growth.

I was working with a healer a few years ago, with the intention of examining my own decisions and behaviors within relationships. He taught me something profound called Radical Acceptance. He taught me that when I can stop judging myself for my bad decisions, my undesirable qualities or behaviors, and instead can practice literally LOVING them, by “radically accepting” every single part of myself completely, only then am I free to transform. As long as I put effort into defending, shaming or denying my “dark side” then I am incapable of growth.

Carl Jung, one of my favorite teachers in history, spoke about the “dark side” as that equally perfect side of our selves that simply has yet to have the light of consciousness shined upon it. Much like the dark side of the moon. Since our moon is locked in synchronous orbit around the Earth, we only get to see one side of it. The other side, the side in the “shadow” is dark. But that doesn’t mean that evil is occurring over there. It’s simply in the shadows. And so it is with our own selves. We have the lightness (consciousness) and the darkness (the unconscious). Both are beautiful. And as Alan Watts said, “Each of us is an aperture through which the universe observes itself. Only the game that we’re playing is to not know that.” Which conversely means that the game we get to play in life is to gradually come to know that each of us is the entire universe pretending to be human; to shine more and more light upon on own dark sides and bring more of the unconscious into the conscious. To grow. And we can never do that if we’re denying ourselves our dark sides as if they were bad, or evil, or inadequate.

By radically accepting ourselves as expressions of Divine Grace in human form, with human fallibility, and practicing loving the parts of ourselves that we’ve historically hated, we are free to grow beyond them and to transform. To move toward God Consciousness and Unity Consciousness.

TAT TVAM ASI

It is said that all human suffering arises from the illusion of the separate self. Suffering originates from the belief that we are disconnected from source and from each other. So when I say to someone, “How the hell could Tiger Woods do something like that?!” The answer is simply, because he did. And hopefully he’ll experience great growth and transformation as a result of it. But it does me, nor anyone else, any service to engage in judging him for it. Nothing of value comes from that. No growth. No expansion. I’m just making it easier for us to experience separateness amongst ourselves versus sameness or connectedness. And it’s that separateness that leads to hurt, crime and war.

In the ancient language Sanskrit, there is a phrase, Tat Tvam Asi. Loosely translated, it means That Thou Are. Another way of saying that is, “That’s me.” The useful alternative to acknowledging separateness (through criticism, condemnation and judgment) is, of course, to practice acknowledging sameness.

Each of us contains the seeds of everything within us: compassion, hatred, generosity, greed, appreciation, resentment, honesty, deceit, etc. That’s not to say we are acting on each of those qualities. But in order for me to even make observation of something in another, I must also contain that something within myself. So the alternative practice is this:

Whenever you feel emotionally affected by someone else, in either a pleasant or an unpleasant way, recite the phrase to yourself, “Tat Tvam Asi”, or, “That’s me, and thank you God for making me exactly like that.” When you hear a criticism or a joke about Tiger’s infidelity, silently say to yourself, Tat Tvam Asi. Because you too contain the seed of incongruence or unfaithfulness within you. And love that seed. When you witness a young boy unconditionally offering an elderly woman assistance with her groceries at the store, say Tat Tvam Asi. Because you too contain that seed of unconditional love and support within you. And love that seed. When someone cuts you off and flips you off on the highway, say to yourself, Tat Tvam Asi. Because you too contain the seeds of urgency and anger. And love those seeds. And when you hear a story about a woman giving her rent money to her neighbors so they can buy their children food, say to yourself, Tat Tvam Asi. Because you too contain the seeds of abundance, generosity, non-attachment and compassion. And love them.

When we remove the resistance to who and what we are, and instead radically accept and love all parts of ourselves, we are free to grow. When we replace the practice of recognizing how different we are with the practice of recognizing sameness, we are free to grow together.